Silent Whispers by the Sea

Purple

2008-07-10T19:15:00.006-04:00

Purple skies melting into the earth.

Like ghosts breathing their sorrows into the atmosphere.

The purple sky makes me sad to be alone
When it seems you should be here.
But whatever reasons you harbor.
Whatever purposes you nurture.
I only hope they grow to be all that you wish.
I only hope that they can hold you when nothing else is sure...

Love

2008-07-09T11:16:00.009-04:00

Sun:

A gold ring
Thing of beauty and joy forever
For the one and only
My sweetheart
For I, the sun, loves thee.
Accept thine proposal, thy love!

Earth:

Ah, thank you dear sun
Why thou make me wait so long
For the love thee have showered
But between us now is present,
The night king, the moon so bright
Declaring his love!

Sun:

On hearing such a note by thy love
He takes his revenge by having a lunar eclipse
Over the moon, blocking it, and says
Moon shines by my grace,
Does he better me?
Am I not suited for thee?

Earth:

The earth looked at him, eyes narrowed, she said
A lady's heart leads thy way
Pure love is what thou want
Thy love I cannot ignor
And infidelic I am not
The final tribute has been made!

Sun:

Proud and smug, he asked:
Accomplice thy moon!
O' lill one, how could thee, demand of me,
Such a deed, when all world knows it's true
I am the king of the day!
O' how could you propose to thy Earth?

Moon:

Moon looked at him with twinkling eyes,
I never knew thee loved!
Why keep such a thing a secret
Those sensible words mentioned by thine lips,
I respcet!
But the king of night needs thy love as well

Suffering

2008-07-03T11:30:00.003-04:00

Real suffering comes from the same place where love and freedom and pride comes from. This kind of suffering never ends; we only pretend it does by telling ourselves...The act of suffering no matter how small or great, is a test of love in some way. Most of the time suffering is to test our love for God..."The burden of happiness can only be relieved by the balm of surfing." Suffering is Happiness, backwards...each one is completely different in appearance and in what it can do but the hand that makes the gesture is the same...

Friend: Suffering allows you to realize what is missing, and you can then work towards it (this would be anything). If this suffering is not cured, it will lead to misery. The cure for suffering is what you strive for, in terms of what you want...

2008-07-03T09:20:00.003-04:00

Watching you go away,
My heart cracks into pieces
I don't know what I will do without you...

Therefore,

I wait patiently for the day you'll return
For then my heart's tiny pieces will rejoin....

Who AM I

2008-07-03T07:42:00.000-04:00

Some ask me if I'm okay?
Some loved who I was.
Some adore who I am.
Some fear who I'll become.
Some think I'm being punished.
Some assume it my liberation.
Some believe I'm happy.
Some adamant I'm depressed.
Some poke fun at me.
Some call me sad.
Some fail to understand me.
Some say I'm mad.
Some feel sorry for me.
Some take pride in my beliefs.
Some abandoned me.
Some admire my ways.
Some urge me to come back.

But to sum up what some said, even I fail to understand.

Beautiful

2008-07-02T14:52:00.004-04:00

Got this one as a forward on mail.....

Had to since I am not a fan of make-up and truly believe in this one.

Amnesia

2008-07-02T13:59:00.006-04:00

Bottle in the heart is empty now
Too sober to love anyone
One puff of though
One sip of unknown feelings
One more night spend alone
In the darkness...

That's when he asked:
"What is happening to me?"

Trying to go forward in life
Like waves of the ocean
But the receding waves
Kept pushing him back
Feet soaked in the cool embrace
As he walked alone along the shore...

"Introduce yourself slowly and it will introduce itself to you"
he answered one day.

It takes a long time sometimes
But the moment will be magical
Cutting the thoughts into tiny squares
Dots of time all connected
Because, his life has amnesia
But his heart still remembers...

*written for a friend that thinks s/he is forgetting everything, but I know that isn't the case...

Relationship and Bombs

2008-07-02T09:37:00.001-04:00

Have alot in common.
Carefully put together.
Tons of expertise and skill required.
Piece by piece. So volatile. So many elements.
So much fear as you assemble both not knowing what the next second may bring.
What if there's a critical error? What if it explodes? What if I'm hurt? What if it doesn't work?Alas, both share the same destiny.
A loud jolt of destruction.
Nothing left of us, and silent emptiness around.

Sublimation

2008-06-26T20:07:00.001-04:00

Love is sublimation..
The same as what sugar does to tea...
Sweetens it and gets lost in it...
But does not really worry about
Tea doing something to it!

Ek Sawal?

2008-06-24T19:56:00.002-04:00

So many moons ago, yet,
Teri yaad phir bhi satayen,
Mere chehre mein nakab,
Bhoolney ki koshish nakaamyaab,
Where do I go from here, janabsab aap batayeh?

Kaise kahey zindagi adhuri,
Dhundtey hai, a similar heart?
Agar tere saath hii na hua,
Is amavas ka savera...
Tell me where do i start?

If there is a life,
After you ended it,
Toh kya hai matlab us kasam ka?
Jo hamne le thi,apne pyaar ko khuda maanke
Ek saath marne aur jeene ka.

Reply:
Be patient my love,
Main bhooli nahi koi kasam..
Zindagi leti hai imtehaan kabhi kabhi,
Even if far, I am always with you in memories !!

Materialism

2008-06-24T07:42:00.000-04:00

It seduced me; I gave into it's ways
It abused me; I took it like a helpless slave
It assured me; I believed it's lies
It infected me; I became like everyone else
It pursued me; I saw it everywhere I went
It aroused me; I ran after it everyday
It caught me; I was tangled deeply in it's web
It consumed me; I became empty with nothing left
Materialism destroyed me
I erased all the good within me in the process...

Silence

2008-06-24T07:23:00.001-04:00

Shhhhh!
Everyone listen
Silence!
Listen to my silence scream
Listen to it beg
Listen to it plead
Everyone listen!
A thousand words are said
None of which you can comprehend.

WHO AM I

2008-06-22T19:45:00.002-04:00

Ahaan, we all have 2 self. One who is visible to others and one who is the real self, hidden from everybody and sometimes to us as well. It is our subconscious that keeps the real self beneath. Who always want to peep out finding ways to explode herself. But, our outer self is so strongly shaped and perceived differently by other people that if our real self is shown, than it will not be accepted easily.

I am a blank canvas waiting to be painted on
The virgin waiting to make love
The candle that hasnt been lit
The desire that isnt fulfilled
The sun that hasnt shone
The silence before a violent storm
The arrow yet to be released from a bow
The vengeance waiting to settle a score
The athiest waiting to believe
The soul in an ailing body about to be released
The bird about to take flight
The lens waiting to capture a picture in its sight
The light that hasnt reached the epitomy of bright
The explosive about to ignite
The beauty waiting to be realized
The intelligence longing to be utilized
The art that fades before its recognized

I am all that I have bore. I am who I am...

Welcome To My Nightmare!

2008-06-19T14:23:00.002-04:00

Welcome to my Nightmare
Would you like to come in?
Survival of the fittest game
Let the journey begin…

The first thing to do,
Is take a step back,
But don’t be scared
I’ll watch your back…

Wonder around, my love
In a place filled with screams
From the terror that’s not dove,
Reproducing itself…

You can fight all you want
But you can’t run away
There is no escape
From this place, you know…

You look around for the light,
But find that there is none,
At the end of the tunnel,
Darkness waits to happily greet you…

The peace you were promised
Never enters in your mind
And the end of this nightmare
You’re never to find…

Inside of this place
I must warn you
That you can never undo
The damage you’re done…

So you sink even lower
And nobody know
Inside of this nightmare
The place you reside…

And you put on a mask
So that nobody knows
The pain that you hide
Covering you face…

Now you’re lost and lonely
Just like this world
Not knowing your needs
You begin to fade…

I promised to watch your back
So take hold of my hand
You’re still in this nightmare
But your punishment is paid…

2008-06-19T14:18:00.006-04:00

The camera is put away.
The pictures are broken.

The last word has been spoken.
The bond is broken.

Dear Dreams

2008-06-19T13:54:00.002-04:00

"What makes some people dearer is not just the happiness that you feel when you meet them, but the pain that you fell when you miss them..."

Every woman dreams of the perfect man,
Who will always be by her side - day and night.
Every woman dreams of the perfect stranger,
Who will do everything to see her mesmerizing smile.
Every woman dreams of the perfect one,
Who will make her tears turn into laughter.
Every woman dreams of her perfect prince,
Who will grab her and give that passionate kiss.
Every woman dreams of that perfect male,
Who knows her inside out and never bails.

Some women truly believe in that dream,
I wonder if that is how I got my love!

Marriage and Love

2008-06-15T17:38:00.002-04:00

It is easy to fall in love but hard to live in it that's what I think. It is easy to say I LOVE YOU day and night but if the actions and words don't coordinate together then what do the words mean and what is reality. Where in the heart of is love held?

The Day he will walk married with a new bride in hand
A new life, a new place to live and someone one new to love
Hus mirror reflection still remain the same
The photographic memory which was never developed, deep inside remains the same

No one could see his images of the past
He will tell the stories some true and some lies,
The truth will remain in the dark but the future will be bright
A newly wed man, once was my life

After a time he'll forgot
As a stranger, he will pass by my side
The smile on his face will make me feel so strange
Once my closest now he will seems to be taking a revenge

He doesn't show her that he's been thru love before
Makes her feel like "I am all yours"
Feelings which he will feel will not first the time
But the truth and the dark will remain friends

No one will be there to search for it
He knows that no one knew
Every touch will be lost from the photographic memory
Every single move will say this is not the first time

Yes it is true; true love lasts forever,
Making love with wife now doesn't matter
Or being in lovers arms
He was blind to see the truth

What is the difference in it,
When love is not a crime?
Now he will make love with his wife
The time about past he won't even remember.

Time Flies

2008-06-02T15:23:00.004-04:00

Look into the eyes,
The eyes talk
Saying good bye
Tho wanted to hear more
But
That's all they said
They drove away
In the dark of the night
Thinking about the moment,
All the happy memories
Now,
The time is coming to an end
Counting memories
Trying not to forget
So does it mean,
We will be okay?

Only Roadmap

2008-06-02T11:30:00.003-04:00

only roadmap to her life
dot to dot
she connects
she draws,
creating a line at a time
to her self-identification...

Three Stories

2008-05-15T15:17:00.006-04:00

Today I got a forward mail containing three wonderful stories. I am posting them here as I don't want to lose them :)

The Turtles
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich.At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves

The Frogs
A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'
[ Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]

The Pretty Lady
Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of acussations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'
[This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony.Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, that is after the unpleasant event is over.This will immediately remove all our agonies.There is no need to be further h urt by the unpleasant event after it is over.]

Randomness

2008-04-06T18:42:00.004-04:00

Empty paper has never been so attracting,
Words absorbing the silence of overflowing chests
The world is a canvas today, choose your images it says
The ink flows, creating babies of thoughts
Forget tomorrow. choose tonight
Paper and ink get intimate; but
Black clouds heavy, unable to blink,
Bandages pealing off, leaving wrinkles instead
Its hard just opening my eyes,
Constipated with rain, afraid...
Fear to fall under the shoe that will step unlookingly
Alone - what a freedom it is?
I cant lie and cant pretend anymore
Denial has played its part for the longest
I can't change your mind, sad isn't it?
The phone rings, but no answer; just tonight - why?
Addicted to the voice, like sweet to tooth
The sweetness that melts not in my mouth, but in my blood.
Let the faces we tend to wear be removed for real,
Show me your cuts and I'll show you mine
Who's getting fooled?
Hoping our faces won't give it away...
After tasting happiness, swoaling it, is all I am asking
I wish I could say I want you but the truth is I need you
Blood is drying, movement is slowing down
You need me and vice versa, then why not answer?
If this silence is what your choosing today
Then I will wait -- but, quickly, before
No ink flows, no pages turn
The ink is dried, the book is finished.
Don't absorb, just read

Love (Lies of Vicious Emotions)

2008-04-03T11:25:00.006-04:00

Loved with white silk robes and rose petals at your feet
In love, nothing is ever enough; more feels less
Enslaved you will be to this feeling called Love
Shivering at it's slightest touch.

Only Kings & Queens live as such, it tells you
Friends, you don't need them, you say

Vicious liquid that will not pour quickly
In endless disappointment and pain
Crying for that kiss to once more paralyze you
In with the living dead, you crave for more Love
O' the passion reaches its limits
Uniquely jealously will spread as a blanket
Smiling, it reveals that your lover will not love you as much

Every hug won't feel tight enough
Money and friends will alienate
Only physical pain will linger around
Time together will fly like a bird
In the air, addiction and obsession you'll breathe
Obvious truths becomes lies
Now all alone you stand across from Love
Say what more about Love?

Strange (Acrostic)

2008-04-02T22:18:00.005-04:00

Acrostic – where the first letters of each line, when put together, read out as a word, and the poem describes that word…

Special are those feeling
That make the walls of my coffin
Real answers I can't find
Am so lost, so dead I feel
Nothing's strange when life keeps on killing me
Greets me every night
Especially when love gives off its poison gas

Venting

2008-04-02T21:55:00.004-04:00

Girl: I should have tried not to be born, while I was still a fetus swimming in my mom's womb. I should have tried harder not to be conceived when I was still just that egg and all those sperm were raping me.

Boy: Be glad one of the heroes' rescued you from your mother's womb and brought you like a human otherwise you would have been flushed down the toilet like piss.

2008-04-02T15:22:00.004-04:00

My hand still shivers just as my heart when I pick up a pen to write about you...

Two people, two minds
Two worlds, two hearts
Two lives, two souls
One Destiny
Two paths intervenes into
One Road
Two worlds part,
You and Me
But,
Your whole world is in my
Heart...

2008-04-02T15:18:00.006-04:00

Here's to one and only one
And may that one be thee
Who love but one and only one
And may that one be me...

**Found this toast somewhere

My first attempt at Cinquain

2008-04-02T11:24:00.001-04:00

The Cinquain is a poetic form whose history is marked by ambiguity. Invented by Adelaide Crapsey, the Cinquain is a form that draws from Japanese poetry, awards itself with a French name, yet is American in origin. Originally inspired by the Haiku, the Cinquain functions mostly on a descriptive level and is very brief.

Requirements:The Cinquain can only be five lines long. Each line must adhere to a set number of syllables.Line one is two syllables long.Line two is four syllables long.Line three is six syllables long.Line four is eight syllables long.Line five is two syllables long.

I hear
Soft beating drops
In tunnels of my night
All the heart desired lay as
Whispers

Take Me

2008-03-02T22:23:00.002-05:00

Take me along,
on the path you walk alone...

Take me home,
by letting me stay in your heart...

2007-11-27T09:32:00.002-05:00

Like aumtum leaves,
Turning pages of my life
What am I looking for?
I have to hurry

I can't find you
Destiny, peace, love, happiness
And a hundred other things
I must find quickly

Again and again,
I flip through those pages
Trying to unlock the memories
I whisper a prayer

Seasons changes, times flies
Why does my heart search with glued dreams
It takes a long time sometimes
but I must find you.

My Window to the World

2007-11-06T09:05:00.002-05:00

My window to the world
As it sleeps, time moves
Always I watch
The picturesque view
Always bewitching
I watch…

Sugar-coated smiles
Hidden behind faces
Of those I know…
Always I watch
The look in the eyes
The feel of the smile

Many have two, many have more
Until times comes
I watch
The faces they are hiding
Only revealed when the world sleeps
Through my window…

Lost Gift

2007-11-06T08:35:00.002-05:00

The lost years,
What became of them?

Looking back and thinking,
The gift’s forsaken

Where did things go wrong?
So many lost years

Time is a gift
Time is precious
Time is exceptional

2007-11-05T13:01:00.002-05:00

Her eyes were honest

And yet she was lieing...

Her eyes were brave

And yet she was afraid...

2007-11-05T12:52:00.002-05:00

Scenario: You lack the courage to tell me the truth, instead, you continue in this elaborate charade of yours, as if I don't catch up things.

I wonder...
When does slander became the truth?
Where in the heart is the truth and where are the lies kept ?
Is there a barrier between the two?
How does the truth and the untruth communicate?
I wonder...

You know that I will come to know. Truth always wins the battle. Lies hurt more than the truth, and its too bad I can't live long in my Utopia. Why don't you try telling me the truth, for a change? We are living in a world of lies.

I still love you
Be cautious now,
One day everything will catch up
I can only play the game for so long,
Before I get tired of it
Stop the Lies,
Stop the Lies,
Stop the Lies.

How I Long To Be With You

2007-11-01T13:49:00.002-04:00

Boy: How much do you love me.
Girl: Ganu ane ganu badu :) I love you heaps and heaps, where I'll do the thing that no one else would...
Boy: What would you do that no one would
Girl: That you have to tell me, the thing only you know...think about it and tell me
Boy: I want you to love me and be with me in happy times and sad ones to...
Girl: I promise, I will...only time can prove :)
Boy: I'm sure it will..
Girl: Love you heaps, muah
Boy: Love you loads...muahmuah

Eyes opened from a dream
You were still in my thoughts
I lazed around and wondered
How I long to be with you...

A thought of how beautiful it would be
To end the day in your arms,
To begin the day from you arms
How I long to be with you...

The wrath of the sun,
Coming through the window,
Opening our eyes together
How I long to be with you...

To see the sunshine in your smile,
To feel the air in your breath,
And the sparkle in your eyes
How I long to be with you...

About a month left to go
I am waiting counting days
For that, glorious day,
When I long to be with you...

2007-10-31T22:00:00.002-04:00

Still Nights
Walking Barefoot
Zigzagged Passages
Muscles Taut
Alert Senses
Eerie Quietness
Frozen time
Echoed through my mind....

Union

2007-10-29T12:05:00.002-04:00

Hidden love it holds,

Giving everything is has to the surrounding,

Before the day ends,

They meet, exchange ONE glance

For that glance, that one glance,

The world's at awe

Hoping, and silently praying

They wait for their union...

2007-10-29T09:18:00.002-04:00

The spaces between my fingers are spaced,

correctly to allow only your hand to fit in perfectly,

Who will I be without your hand?

The spaces seem to be at a loss without your hand.

Why?

2007-10-28T00:01:00.002-04:00

Not a foe, not a friend,
Now, I am nothing to you.
Why you'll wonder,
But won't understand...

You can't handle,
The simple truth.
Your always looking,
For some proof...

Let's hope life's path,
Doesn't lead you here.
That calls for tear and pain,
But no shoulder, except for cold...

A Question and It's Whisper

2007-10-27T21:24:00.002-04:00

The question was popped
How much I Love you?
These "few" words, I begin the journey...

You walked in my life as a stranger
And made me laugh, the minute we intervened
How often does that happen to people?

Your charm is so memorizing,
You don’t realize how you make me smile
And forget everything around me...

I know that this love I feel is so true,
When you talk, you make me smile,
The smiles I wish you could see..

You think I am crazy in my ways and laugh
But I know the distance and the miles between us,
Are the only things at the moment keeping me from you...

I want my road to be traveled only with you
Your hand to show me the path and your voice to guide me to shelter,
What else can I ask?

You may have not heard or didn’t notice,
I just said “I Love You” in different ways
A whispers you must learn to hear...

Silly Love Routine

2007-10-26T14:05:00.002-04:00

Sitting in my office, watching the beautiful view from the top floor. The sun was shining, and the clouds were white. The grass was green and the trees were stretching towards the heavens. The sky was blue, and the breeze blew gently. The day was perfect till noon, and then it started pouring in my heart. I had everything but again I had nothing. By midday the sun was gone, and the wind hurled at the trees. Locking the door and pulling the blinds down; I decided to close my eyes and think what happened and how did everything change so drastically.
I loved him and so did he. I remember spending nights together on the phone. The concept is crazy but when you can’t be with each other, and the only medium left is the phone to communicate. I would ask him to hold the phone and fall asleep so that I could listen to his heartbeat and breathing which would turn into snoring as he would peacefully drift into dreamland. Holding the phone and sleeping meant the world to me and I would wait hours for him to finish all his work and head to bed holding a phone.
I assumed he enjoyed sleeping on the phone with me. It was a kind of bonding between us, and multiple times he called it cute. However, I was childish to believe him for slowly the day creeped when he told me that he can’t sleep at night holding the phone. Confused, I kept quiet, wanting to hear more.
“ummm, I am worried if you are sleeping or not and I often wake up in the middle of the night trying to listen. Don’t get me wrong dear, but the sound of empty air on the phone bugs me” he said calmly as if this was a part time job. Then he asked me politely if we would not hold the phone and sleep, and without another word I agreed.
How could I not agree. I loved him and if holding the phone causes so many issues then what’s the use. A quick calculation ran through my mind, was he important or holding the phone. The answer was quite obvious, and hence without a second thought I agreed not to hold the phone and sleep.
Though I wanted to explain to him my reasoning for holding the phone. I wanted to tell him that; “The beauty of holding the phone was that I felt close to you through out the night. As if you were sleeping right beside me, holding me where I could hear your heartbeat. I always hold this one memory before I sleep. I wrap my thoughts around it as I being to relax my mind and begin to dream. You and me, one moment, when everything is as beautiful as it could ever be. I laid on you, you're my pillow, my ear to your heart, listening to the sweet rhythm as it sings a lullaby putting me to sleep. I wish in that instance before sleep overtakes me that there are endless real moments just like this yet to come...a reason finally for me to smile and sleep...”. But he would never understand.
The first day was extremely hard. I was use to waiting for him to call me and then head to bed. I had no choice but to take sleeping pills to fall asleep. The pills worked and the days kept passing by. These days we say bye as the night pulls into my roon and I alone crawl inside my comforter. Closing my eyes, I hope for the day that he will ask me to stay on the phone with him for the night, but again if wishes came true beggars would ride.
But today my heart cries. The bond that was built holding the phone no longer exists. Thoughts came to my mind of whether he misses me the way I do. Does he take pills to just fall asleep like me. Why did he hold the phone for months before saying something. Was it a game? Though I realized one thing, just as this cute phone holding and sleeping session died so will all the other things. Love slowly and steady moves away, and you can’t hold on to it…

*Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope,
*Sometimes we cry with nothing more than tears,
In the end thats all there is:
Love & it's duty AND Sorrow & it's truth...

*Taken from Shantaram

Love vs Hate

2007-10-26T11:02:00.002-04:00

They argue day and night
Mind says to quit
Heart says to hold on
Begging not to let go
While the other says forget it, not worth it
Stuck between loving and falling apart,
As the mind and the heart are at war
Dying a little by moving from side to side,
Whom to make happy, whom to please
Looking for my road, my destiny
While love and hate collide
This battle of love and hate
Makes my heart bleed; eyes tired of crying
While confusion englufs as my mind goes insane...

2007-10-25T12:06:00.003-04:00

Engrave deep in your heart, this love of mine
Seek not from else where, this love of mine
Always remember my dear, this love of mine
Whether your tide be high or low...

Do never fall in love, other than with me
Glazed with poison the honey will be, other than with me
Deceived is the end result, other than with me
True love you'll never find...

Do direct your heart, towards me
With the life that remains, towards me
See with a foresight, towards me
Let your heart be covered with love...

2007-10-25T09:27:00.002-04:00

Scenario: Hubby is gone away and the wife is home waiting for his return. He writes to tell her how much he loves and misses her...

With all that is in the heavens and the earth
With all that surrounds the world
With all that is precious
With all that is in the depths of my heart

I want to say I love you
I want to say I miss you
I want to claim you as mine
I want to live and die with you

Forgive me for all the hurt I bring
Forgive me for all the lies I tell
Forgive me for all the mistakes I make
Forgive me for all the fights I break

Love me for every moment I think of you
Love me for every second I miss you
Love me for all the prayers I make for you
Love me for the way I love you

Response:
What shall I now write, when like clothes
Your words have wraped themself around me,
All the pain has been extracted, only happiness lingers
Now all I can think of is why aren't you here...

I remember your smile and I remember your eyes,
I remember holding your hands when your driving and you freeing them often to change gears
I remember the time hugging and the kids across teasing
I remember every moment I spend with you...

I wish you were with me always,
A new feeling grows daily inside of my heart,
Looking forward to you coming home
Has became a new hobby of mine...

Come home soon...I Love You...

I won't cry for you

2007-10-24T14:03:00.002-04:00

Scenario: Hidden affair and the lover walks away to someone else...

I won't cry for you,
When you walk away
When all I feel
Are the pieces of my heart

I won't cry for you,
No matter what you think
Black clouds have filled the sky
Tomorrow the sun will rise again

I won't cry for you,
And I can't lie to you
This pain I feel is kept inside
As is my love for you...

Tafadi

2007-10-22T20:49:00.003-04:00

Scenario: A moth is attracted to the burning candle just to be engulfed. The image of the a burning candle and the self destructing moth is similar to image of a love. In a love that is doomed for sure. Fate is playing a big game and yet I wonder...

Ay love, why do I love you?
My dedication, my tafadi, why is it there towards you?
Did you teach me the etiquette of Love?
Will loving you give me peace of life?
My love is not to frit and fret and display
My love is to quietly burn night and day
Like a moth, I will keep dancing around you
But unlike a moth I won't take the easy route of
An impulsive death into the flames of the candle
Continued dying for you than to die in one moment is my fate.

Ay love, save me if you can?
This has to be a joke, for
Like a candle, you will keep on shining...

Angel Of Fate

2007-10-20T20:34:00.002-04:00

That road was my fate

Standing alone,

Holding a light

On the dark road that never grew bright

My love,

That road was my fate,

As always in life, I got there late!!!

Kya likhein..

2007-10-15T18:27:00.002-04:00

Ab kya likhein hum kaghaz per
ab likhne ko kya baki hai
ek dil tha so wo toot gaya
ab lutnay ko kya baqi hai

Ek shakas ko hum ne chaha tha
ek rait pe naqsha banaya tha
in rait kay zaroon ko hum ne
Phir apnay dil main sajaya tha

Wo rait to kab ki bikher gaye
Wo naqsha kahan ab baki hai
Ab kya likhein hum kaghaz per
Ab likhnay ko kya baki hai

Hum jin ko apni nazmoon ka
Unwan banaya kertay the
Lafzoon ko bana ker tajmahal
Kaghaz per sajaya karte the

Wo hum ko akela choor gaye
Sab rishtoon say muh moor gaye
Ab rishtay saray suune hai
Wo pyar kahan ab baki hai

Ab kya likhein hum kaghaz par
Ab likhnay ko kya baki hai

-Author unknown

Acha lagta hai...

2007-10-13T20:56:00.002-04:00

Uss ke bina ab chup chap rehna acha lagta hai,
Khamoshi sey dard ko sehna acha lagta hai,
Jis hasti ki yaad mein Aanso barstey hain,
Samne uss ke kuch naa kehna acha lagta hai,

Mil kar uss se Bichar naa jaaon darta rehta hon,
Is liye bas door hi rehna acha lagta hai,
Janta hon keh chahat mein bas Aanso milte hain,
Kuch bhi ho ab is zehar ko peena acha lagta hai,

Je chahey sab khushiyan laa kar os ko de doon,
Us ke pyaar mein sab kuch khona acha lagta hai,
Uss ka milna naa milna kismat ki baat hai,
Pal Pal uss ki yaad mein roona acha lagta hai,

Uss ke bina sab khushiyan fida ajeeb si lagti hain,
Roo Roo kar uss ki YAAD mein sona acha lagta hai.

-Author Unknown

True Friends

2007-09-24T20:41:00.002-04:00

Scenario: My best friend fought with me because I was down and was not all happy like her. She decided not to be friends at all...

When I was happy
you said your were there to share it
When I was sick
you said your were there to nurse me
When I was a nerd
you said your were there to learn with me
When I was poor
you said your were there to fund me
When I was an achiever
you said your there to cheer me
yet...
When I felt depressed n deserted
I expected you to say I'm there for you instead you said...
"Peace out and enjoy your life. I like to be friends with some mature, no drama friends!"
Today you killed my soul...
Tomorrow u might kill my body as a whole...
But I'll tell YOU ARE MY TRUE FRIEND!!!

I believe in Miracles

2007-09-12T21:04:00.000-04:00

About me...

2007-08-31T14:34:00.002-04:00

I am still discovering myself but here is what I know by now about me...
1. I am a straight forward person once you understand me.
2. I am a extremely private person.
3. Technology interests me to a certain limit, even though it's my profession.
4. I know that there are no short cuts to success and no substitute for hard work. 5. I perform very well under pressure, but hardly otherwise.
6. I act smart and play dumb when situation demands.
7. I like reading on any topics that scratch few grey cells.
8. I don't watch soap operas - I think it's a total waste of time.
9. Taking a walk and going on long drives - travelling to places far and near.
10. I love surfing the net. It's the best form of oxygen available.
11. Jet skiing - nothing can beat the adrenaline flowing from riding the tidal waves.
12. I love to love thy - basis for my living.
13. I want to be happy and that is what I strive for every now and then.
14. I love to read poetry and write few.
15. I am a classic example of a Aries & Pieces - I display all good and bad qualities.

.....more to be discovered!

Everything Happens for a Reason

2007-08-30T22:14:00.002-04:00

People and things have come into my life, and from the moment they walked into my life, I knew the they were important. I always knew that they were meant to be there to serve some purpose in my life. Of the back I never knew the reason why. Were they there to teach me a lesson, help figure out who I am or what I want to be? I never know but I do lock my eyes with them because I know from that moment that they will affect my life in a profound way and I believe that sometimes those people/things are meant to be there.

Even though at the time they may seem painful, unfair, and bring misery but in the end I have realized that without that without the struggle and having the power to overcome these obstacles I would never have realized the stenght or the power that was hidden in my heart. Life is tough no matter we are and what we are doing, things remain the same in one way or the other, only thing is the TIME , which changes because life continues. Do not know what to write...because Puchoo Naa Kaisee maine rainn bithayi...one of the few classical which imitates our life's in every single way which we undergo.

Yesterday was preety tough and the same is for today and for days to come. Sometimes looking back in past, and taking stock of everything that has happened, just cant believe it, but have to, isnt it!!! Everything has changes so dramatically, never expected such a drastic change, but thats how life is, it shows you all the aspects irrespective of what you are and what you wish.

Learning lessons and forgetting as we do in our studies wont do any good because these lessons are part and parcel of our life, and they always follow us like our "saaya" follows in every part of our life. We know these things, but seldomely look in the same because we all have habit of forgetting and ignoring things inspite of they making a big difference in life, by saying this I do not stand aside because I am also one of them and the same applies for me too.

Life is very complicated in itself, and by putting our own troubles into it, we make it even more more complicated. I do not understand it fully, but whatever I understand and what I perceive through my experiences and whatever it applies to me can be best said by:
"Dedicated, concentrated hard work coupled with honestly and sincerity is the only way to success. Giving in to stray thoughts, to immediate desires and to the world of dreams only leads to disaster !!"

Life even though so complicated and tough, it has different facets to it, which I always like to see and shall continue to do so in near future. These facets of life make you regain your strengths and determination and make you work on your mistakes and overcome the so called evil in you and the society. I wish and dream about the same to happen with me because life has always been tough and ruthesless on me and always wished me to go the other way around which people do not wish to follow. Though it seems to very cruel with no mercy to offer, I have still decided to follow the same for everything from now onwards because for me there is no other way out.

Looking in my past, I see the success for me was all due to the hardwork coupled with honesty and sincerity which gave me new fleets to achieve which otherwise seemed to be no where within my reach. I admire all these moments and truely they are my achievements in every way. They make me feel proud and shall guide me in near future for all things which I wish to achieve. These are the few things which I always had in mind and perceived the same. One thing which I know preety confidently is, I wont ever change these idealogies for anything because they are all against my integrity and I know if I loose my intergrity, nothing good shall come to me and replace it.

Hence, I will conclude that everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true grateness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of our soul. Without these small test in life we'd be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road nowhere safe & uncomfortable but dull & utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life. The successes & downfalls that you experience can create whom you are and the bad experiences can be learned from.

Expression of Love!

2007-08-29T20:50:00.003-04:00

Dear Love,

It would be repeating the visualization of the same fact over and over again if I say that I feel for you. U know, a single sigh of yours drifts me miles away from distress. In your vicinity I feel the whole universe converging within you and myself vanishing to a point with all my senses surrendering to your presence. I wish the time to be millions of light years away from the next moment.

Your beauty gets me rid of myself separating myself from the self, Your hair touching my face sends a set of storms inside me, and your touch makes me flying high. I feel an urge inside me to paint your portraits with my thoughts. They may not be as good as Mona Lisa but I assure you that their piousness would be no lesser than bible.I wish to write poems praising your beauty. it may not be good as Keats but I assure you that their freshness would be no less than flowers at early dawn.

Well, I may not have said that I love you because I feel this is much more than love, like something divine I should admit, and also I didn't find it quite important to say this to you, because it's all mine. my love for you isn't anyway depending upon you. The fact that I love you is well enough to make me live .It doesn't depend upon whether you have the same feelings for me or not.And it won't diminish if you don't have the same feelings for me, but still I wish you understand the fathom of depth of my feelings for you, and to keep the social formalities I say that I love you and will so for ever.

"love for love's sake"

With luv

Your admirer

My Canvas

2007-08-29T19:35:00.002-04:00

I have realized what life is all about? Yes, I have...I who lives in la-la-land has come to accept this reality. Well, what is life all about, huh? In my eyes life is all about details. The details are what creates my canvas, a beautiful canvas. Details such as family, religion, faith, school, friends, relatives, work, relationships, and all other things. And my life merely a canvas, meant to be drawn on.

My details are sketched, accidentally stained on, or carefully drawn in time play an important role in who I am and who I will became. I have stood and watched people draw on their canvas with two different mediums. One, pencil, giving the illusion and the freedom that there can be a second chance. Just like a kid that learns to draw and makes a mistake can easily get a second chance by erasing bits and pieces, starting all over again. Second one would be permanent such as a pen; confident in every stroke. But sometimes you wonder, would a stoke turn into a scar over years and leave a mark that is deep. This scar in the canvas will have to stand the test of time while the canvases drawn in pencil will never have a particular part of their life leaving a stain...

I have drawn my canvas with an ink pen, but the question that strains my mind is that in time, will the stroke, the scar, the mark, etc be something that I will be proud of? Questioning my kismat, looking for the answer brings in more questions. Will my canvas be appreciated by those that glance at it? Will my mistakes be forgiven or not? Will my canvas be thrown to the side like dried up paint? Who will know the value of my stroke? Who will I share my canvas it?

All these questions keeping coming up and after a while the answers find a way to the questions. I alone will see the soul of my canvas and be proud of each stroke of bliss. I alone will know the value of my life, and know the journey my canvas took. I alone will know the meaning and thought behind each scar on my canvas. I alone will appreciate my canvas and my soul will react with the outcome of each stroke. I alone will. I am alone. I have been alone. But lately I am changing being black and white, a morning following it's evening. A simple life, too mundane without any colors to a stroke of rainbows. I am adding a few drops of PINK and a few more of YELLOW, ORANGE, PEACH, CORAL, and RED...

In pen, my canvas has been stroked with beautiful colors. Where I have marked in my family, my religion, my faith, my beliefs, and YOU. I know that in time I will appreciate my work in pen without the feeling of not being able to getting the freedom of a second chance. This is because I have trusted my soul & heart and not exact formulas created by my mind. You will see through my each stroke and understand the meaning of who I am. You will know the value of myself without the discrepancies. You will have the story of me, my most valuable secret chambers. Hopefully my joy will bring a smile from ear to ear, and my sorrows a tear to be tasted by the lips.

I have with my full heart given you the permission to view the strokes on my canvas -- The Stroke that has created my canvas a Masterpiece.